When a sutta says something you can't accept

The suttas were spoken to an ancient society, and some of what they say about women, class, and the household belongs to that society. This index says so in the notes it carries with such passages. The canon also gives its own tools for this: it tells the Kālāmas not to accept anything merely because it is scripture, and it gives a method for checking a claim about what the Buddha taught against the discourses and the training as a whole. What this page cannot do is decide for you which passages are the teaching and which are the times; that is ongoing work in every tradition, and good teachers disagree about it.

What the suttas say

don’t go by oral transmission, don’t go by lineage, don’t go by testament, don’t go by canonical authority, don’t rely on logic, don’t rely on inference, don’t go by reasoned train of thought, don’t go by the acceptance of a view after deliberation, don’t go by the appearance of competence, and don’t think “The ascetic is our respected teacher.” But when you know for yourselves:
The Kālāma discourse — the canon's charter for testing teachings.
Where this stops: It is not permission to believe whatever one likes; it ends with what the wise praise. Never a reason to stay with a teacher who is doing harm.
AN 3.65:25.3–25.4 · With the Kālāmas of Kesamutta
Mendicants, a mendicant who is an inquirer, unable to encompass another’s mind, should scrutinize the Realized One for two things—things that can be seen and heard: ‘Can anything corrupt be seen or heard in the Realized One or not?’ Scrutinizing him they find that nothing corrupt can be seen or heard in the Realized One.
The Buddha's own instructions for scrutinizing a teacher, including himself.
Where this stops: Never a reason to stay with a teacher who is doing harm.
MN 47:4.1–4.4 · The Inquirer
You should neither approve nor reject that mendicant’s statement. Instead, having carefully memorized those words and phrases, you should make sure they fit in the discourse and are exhibited in the training.
The four great references — a teaching claimed to be the Buddha's is checked against the suttas and the training, not against the authority of whoever says it.
Where this stops: A method for testing claims about what the Buddha taught, not a licence to dismiss a living teacher's practical instruction because it is not quoted in a sutta.
AN 4.180:2.5–2.6 · The Four Great References
Mendicants, these four things can be known in four situations. What four? You can get to know a person’s ethics by living with them. But only after a long time, not casually; only when attentive, not when inattentive; and only by the wise, not the witless. You can get to know a person’s purity by dealing with them. … You can get to know a person’s resilience in times of trouble. … You can get to know a person’s wisdom by discussion. But only after a long time, not casually; only when attentive, not when inattentive; and only by the wise, not the witless.
How a person is actually known — over a long time, with attention, from close up — a standard that applies to a teacher as much as to anyone.
Where this stops: It counsels patience before trusting and before condemning; it is not a reason to stay close to someone already known to be doing harm.
AN 4.192:1.1–1.6 · Facts
where each takes the other as a fool. Relying on others they state their contention, desiring praise while claiming to be skilled. Addicted to debating in the midst of the assembly, their need for praise makes them nervous. But when they’re repudiated they get embarrassed;
The anatomy of the argument — praise-seeking, anxiety, embarrassment, fault-finding — as fresh as any comment thread.
Where this stops: Never a reason to keep quiet about a real harm.
Snp 4.8:2.2–3.3 · With Pasūra

Bring your own situation.