Passed over for a promotion
Loss and disgrace are two of the eight worldly conditions, and the suttas say they come to the well-taught noble disciple and the untaught ordinary person alike; what differs is whether they take over the mind. Envy of the person who got it is named in the canon too, with an unusual instruction: it is let go of not through deeds or words but by seeing it clearly, again and again. The suttas are practical about resentment as well. They do not say the decision was fair, and they do not ask you to accept unequal pay; whether to raise it, and how, is a question for speech that is true and timely, and possibly for someone outside the team.
What the suttas say
So gain and loss, fame and disgrace, blame and praise, and pleasure and pain don’t occupy their mind. They don’t favor gain or oppose loss. They don’t favor fame or oppose disgrace. They don’t favor praise or oppose blame. They don’t favor pleasure or oppose pain.
The difference the Buddha draws between a well-taught noble disciple and an untaught ordinary person is not that praise and blame stop coming — both meet them — but that for the disciple they no longer take over the mind.
Where this stops: It describes a disciple who reflects that each condition is impermanent; it is a training, not a mood to put on after a bad review. Not a reply to bullying or harassment at work, and not a reason to say unfair criticism does not matter.
AN 8.6:6.1–6.5 · Worldly Conditions (2nd)
Tassa lābhopi cittaṁ na pariyādāya tiṭṭhati, alābhopi cittaṁ na pariyādāya tiṭṭhati, yasopi cittaṁ na pariyādāya tiṭṭhati, ayasopi cittaṁ na pariyādāya tiṭṭhati, nindāpi cittaṁ na pariyādāya tiṭṭhati, pasaṁsāpi cittaṁ na pariyādāya tiṭṭhati, sukhampi cittaṁ na pariyādāya tiṭṭhati, dukkhampi cittaṁ na pariyādāya tiṭṭhati. So uppannaṁ lābhaṁ nānurujjhati, alābhe nappaṭivirujjhati; uppannaṁ yasaṁ nānurujjhati, ayase nappaṭivirujjhati; uppannaṁ pasaṁsaṁ nānurujjhati, nindāya nappaṭivirujjhati; uppannaṁ sukhaṁ nānurujjhati, dukkhe nappaṭivirujjhati.
Nasty jealousy should be given up neither by the body, nor by speech, but by seeing again and again with wisdom.
Envy is treated as something to be seen through, not suppressed or confessed away.
Where this stops: The examples are of a servant envying a householder and a monk envying another's requisites; carry the method, not the social setting.
AN 10.23:5.1 · Body
Pāpikā, bhikkhave, issā neva kāyena pahātabbā no vācāya, paññāya disvā pahātabbā.
As the wind cannot stir a solid mass of rock, so too blame and praise do not affect the wise.
The same teaching in four lines, short enough to carry into a meeting.
Where this stops: An image of the wise, not a demand to feel nothing when criticized.
Dhp 81:1–4 · 6. The Astute
Selo yathā ekaghano, vātena na samīrati; Evaṁ nindāpasaṁsāsu, na samiñjanti paṇḍitā.
They meditate spreading a heart full of rejoicing to one direction, and to the second, and to the third, and to the fourth. In the same way above, below, across, everywhere, all around, they spread a heart full of rejoicing to the whole world—abundant, expansive, limitless, free of enmity and ill will.
Rejoicing in others' good is one of the four boundless states, taught to the Kālāmas in the same breath as love — the canon's own answer to envy.
Where this stops: The formula is generic to the four states; use it for the practice of gladness, not as a claim that the Kālāma discourse is about envy.
AN 3.65:42.3 · With the Kālāmas of Kesamutta
muditāsahagatena cetasā …pe…
“Mendicants, a mendicant should use these five ways to completely get rid of resentment when it has arisen toward anyone. What five? You should develop love for an individual you resent. That’s how to get rid of resentment for that individual. You should develop compassion for an individual you resent. … You should develop equanimity for an individual you resent. … You should disregard an individual you resent, paying no attention to them. … You should focus on the ownership of deeds regarding that individual: ‘This venerable is the owner of their deeds and heir to their deeds. Deeds are their womb, their relative, and their refuge. They shall be the heir of whatever deeds they do, whether good or bad.’ That’s how to get rid of resentment for that individual. A mendicant should use these five ways to completely get rid of resentment when it has arisen toward anyone.”
A practical list — love, compassion, equanimity, not attending, reflecting on kamma.
Where this stops: Reflecting that people own their deeds is never a way to call someone's misfortune their kamma, and putting down resentment is never a reason to stay near someone who keeps doing harm.
AN 5.161:1.1–1.15 · Getting Rid of Resentment (1st)
“Pañcime, bhikkhave, āghātapaṭivinayā yattha bhikkhuno uppanno āghāto sabbaso paṭivinetabbo. Katame pañca? Yasmiṁ, bhikkhave, puggale āghāto jāyetha, mettā tasmiṁ puggale bhāvetabbā; evaṁ tasmiṁ puggale āghāto paṭivinetabbo. Yasmiṁ, bhikkhave, puggale āghāto jāyetha, karuṇā tasmiṁ puggale bhāvetabbā; evaṁ tasmiṁ puggale āghāto paṭivinetabbo. Yasmiṁ, bhikkhave, puggale āghāto jāyetha, upekkhā tasmiṁ puggale bhāvetabbā; evaṁ tasmiṁ puggale āghāto paṭivinetabbo. Yasmiṁ, bhikkhave, puggale āghāto jāyetha, asatiamanasikāro tasmiṁ puggale āpajjitabbo; evaṁ tasmiṁ puggale āghāto paṭivinetabbo. Yasmiṁ, bhikkhave, puggale āghāto jāyetha, kammassakatā tasmiṁ puggale adhiṭṭhātabbā: ‘kammassako ayamāyasmā kammadāyādo kammayoni kammabandhu kammapaṭisaraṇo, yaṁ kammaṁ karissati kalyāṇaṁ vā pāpakaṁ vā tassa dāyādo bhavissatī’ti; evaṁ tasmiṁ puggale āghāto paṭivinetabbo. Ime kho, bhikkhave, pañca āghātapaṭivinayā, yattha bhikkhuno uppanno āghāto sabbaso paṭivinetabbo”ti.