How much to give
The Buddha talked about giving with a general, a householder, and his own chief disciple, and never once named an amount. He described gifts given with care, at the right time, freely, and without harming oneself or anyone else — that last condition is the answer to the person giving beyond their means. He also described stinginess as a stain and generosity as a temperament rather than a transaction, and he ranked the motive of adorning the mind above every hope of return. What the suttas will not do is settle a household budget or overrule a partner. If the pressure is coming from the community, that is worth noticing too.
What the suttas say
There are these five gifts of a true person. What five? They give a gift out of faith. They give a gift carefully. They give a gift at the right time. They give a gift with no strings attached. They give a gift without damaging themselves or others.
How to give, in five short qualities — including giving without harm to oneself, which answers the person giving beyond their means.
Where this stops: The results that follow each gift are framed as wealth and beauty in future lives; carry the five qualities, not the promised returns. It is about gifts of money or goods, not a measure of how much care to give a sick or ageing relative. Never use it to press someone to give out of guilt or pressure.
AN 5.148:1.1–1.3 · Gifts of a True Person
Pañcimāni, bhikkhave, sappurisadānāni. Katamāni pañca? Saddhāya dānaṁ deti, sakkaccaṁ dānaṁ deti, kālena dānaṁ deti, anuggahitacitto dānaṁ deti, attānañca parañca anupahacca dānaṁ deti.
They don’t give a gift thinking, ‘When giving this gift my mind becomes clear, and I become happy and joyful.’ But they give a gift thinking, ‘This is an adornment and requisite for the mind.’
The ranking of motives for giving ends here — giving to adorn the mind rather than for a return.
Where this stops: The lower motives are not condemned; the sutta says each still bears fruit. Use it to point, not to grade.
AN 7.52:11.1–11.2 · A Very Fruitful Gift
Napi ‘imaṁ me dānaṁ dadato cittaṁ pasīdati, attamanatā somanassaṁ upajāyatī’ti dānaṁ deti; api ca kho cittālaṅkāracittaparikkhāraṁ dānaṁ deti.
“I can, Sīha,” said the Buddha. “A giver, a donor is dear and beloved to many people. This is a fruit of giving that’s apparent in the present life. Furthermore, good and true persons associate with a giver. This is another fruit of giving that’s apparent in the present life. Furthermore, a giver gains a good reputation. This is another fruit of giving that’s apparent in the present life. Furthermore, a giver enters any kind of assembly bold and self-assured, whether it’s an assembly of aristocrats, brahmins, householders, or ascetics. This is another fruit of giving that’s apparent in the present life. Furthermore, when a giver’s body breaks up, after death, they’re reborn in a good place, a heavenly realm. This is a fruit of giving to do with lives to come.”
General Sīha asks for results he can see for himself, and the Buddha names four; useful for someone who wants results they can check.
Where this stops: The sutta lists these as results of giving, not motives for it; do not frame generosity as a way to win liking or standing.
AN 5.34:2.1–6.2 · With General Sīha
“Sakkā, sīhā”ti bhagavā avoca: “dāyako, sīha, dānapati bahuno janassa piyo hoti manāpo. Yampi, sīha, dāyako dānapati bahuno janassa piyo hoti manāpo, idampi sandiṭṭhikaṁ dānaphalaṁ. Puna caparaṁ, sīha, dāyakaṁ dānapatiṁ santo sappurisā bhajanti. Yampi, sīha, dāyakaṁ dānapatiṁ santo sappurisā bhajanti, idampi sandiṭṭhikaṁ dānaphalaṁ. Puna caparaṁ, sīha, dāyakassa dānapatino kalyāṇo kittisaddo abbhuggacchati. Yampi, sīha, dāyakassa dānapatino kalyāṇo kittisaddo abbhuggacchati, idampi sandiṭṭhikaṁ dānaphalaṁ. Puna caparaṁ, sīha, dāyako dānapati yaṁ yadeva parisaṁ upasaṅkamati—yadi khattiyaparisaṁ yadi brāhmaṇaparisaṁ yadi gahapatiparisaṁ yadi samaṇaparisaṁ—visārado upasaṅkamati amaṅkubhūto. Yampi, sīha, dāyako dānapati yaṁ yadeva parisaṁ upasaṅkamati—yadi khattiyaparisaṁ yadi brāhmaṇaparisaṁ yadi gahapatiparisaṁ yadi samaṇaparisaṁ—visārado upasaṅkamati amaṅkubhūto, idampi sandiṭṭhikaṁ dānaphalaṁ. Puna caparaṁ, sīha, dāyako dānapati kāyassa bhedā paraṁ maraṇā sugatiṁ saggaṁ lokaṁ upapajjati. Yampi, sīha, dāyako dānapati kāyassa bhedā paraṁ maraṇā sugatiṁ saggaṁ lokaṁ upapajjati, idaṁ samparāyikaṁ dānaphalan”ti.
A gift to a visitor. A gift to someone setting out on a journey. A gift to someone who is sick. A gift at a time of famine. Presenting the freshly harvested grains and fruits first to those who are ethical. These are the five timely gifts.
Timing as part of the gift — practical for someone unsure whether now is the moment.
AN 5.36:1.3–1.8 · Timely Gifts
Āgantukassa dānaṁ deti; gamikassa dānaṁ deti; gilānassa dānaṁ deti; dubbhikkhe dānaṁ deti; yāni tāni navasassāni navaphalāni tāni paṭhamaṁ sīlavantesu patiṭṭhāpeti. Imāni kho, bhikkhave, pañca kāladānānīti.
They like to see ethical people. They like to hear the true teaching. And they live at home with heart rid of the stain of stinginess, freely generous, open-handed, loving to let go, committed to charity, loving to give and to share.
The lay ideal of generosity as a temperament, not a transaction.
AN 3.42:1.3 · Three Grounds
Sīlavantānaṁ dassanakāmo hoti, saddhammaṁ sotukāmo hoti, vigatamalamaccherena cetasā agāraṁ ajjhāvasati muttacāgo payatapāṇi vossaggarato yācayogo dānasaṁvibhāgarato.