A habit you can't stop
The suttas have a simile for this that is almost too exact: the leper who scratches his sores over a fire, finding relief in the very thing that spreads the wound. They describe craving as what feeds on getting, and remorse as something to feel briefly and then turn into restraint rather than live in. They do not describe a program of recovery, because they did not have one. If the habit is a dependency that is damaging your health, relationships, or work, a doctor or a recovery community comes first; the passages here can keep you honest about what is happening, and they are kind about the failing.
What the suttas say
Gnawing on such a fleshless skeleton, would that dog still get rid of its hunger? “No, sir. Why not? Because that skeleton is scraped clean of flesh and smeared in blood. That dog will eventually get weary and frustrated.”
The skeleton simile — why wanting is not quieted by getting.
Where this stops: One of seven similes for sensual pleasure; use it for the hunger, not as a verdict on the person or on pleasure itself. It is about the pull of a pleasure or an appetite, not about resentment, a grievance, money one is owed, or attachment to a teacher or a partner. Where a habit has become a dependency, it is for a doctor or a program first.
MN 54:15.4–15.8 · With Potaliya the Householder
api nu kho so kukkuro amuṁ aṭṭhikaṅkalaṁ sunikkantaṁ nikkantaṁ nimmaṁsaṁ lohitamakkhitaṁ palehanto jighacchādubbalyaṁ paṭivineyyāti? “No hetaṁ, bhante”. “Taṁ kissa hetu”? “Aduñhi, bhante, aṭṭhikaṅkalaṁ sunikkantaṁ nikkantaṁ nimmaṁsaṁ lohitamakkhitaṁ. Yāvadeva pana so kukkuro kilamathassa vighātassa bhāgī assā”ti.
If, while checking in this way, you know: ‘This act with the body that I have done leads to hurting myself, hurting others, or hurting both. It’s unskillful, with suffering as its outcome and result.’ Then, Rāhula, you should confess, reveal, and clarify such a deed to the Teacher or a sensible spiritual companion. And having revealed it you should restrain yourself in future.
The Buddha's instruction to his own son — the full arc — check, confess, restrain.
Where this stops: For an act that did harm. It is not for guilt where nothing wrong was done, such as a carer who cannot do everything or someone afraid that wanting a child is selfish.
MN 61:11.4–11.7 · Advice to Rāhula at Ambalaṭṭhika
Sace kho tvaṁ, rāhula, paccavekkhamāno evaṁ jāneyyāsi: ‘yaṁ kho ahaṁ idaṁ kāyena kammaṁ akāsiṁ, idaṁ me kāyakammaṁ attabyābādhāyapi saṁvattati, parabyābādhāyapi saṁvattati, ubhayabyābādhāyapi saṁvattati— akusalaṁ idaṁ kāyakammaṁ dukkhudrayaṁ dukkhavipākan’ti, evarūpaṁ te, rāhula, kāyakammaṁ satthari vā viññūsu vā sabrahmacārīsu desetabbaṁ, vivaritabbaṁ, uttānīkātabbaṁ; desetvā vivaritvā uttānīkatvā āyatiṁ saṁvaraṁ āpajjitabbaṁ.
The more they scratch their wounds and cauterize their body, the more their wounds become foul, stinking, and infected. But still, they derive a degree of pleasure and gratification from the itchiness of their wounds.
The leper simile — the exact mechanism of a habit that feeds what it relieves.
Where this stops: Māgaṇḍiya's simile is about the perception that a burning thing is pleasant; it is not a diagnosis of any particular person's illness or dependency.
MN 75:17.2 · With Māgaṇḍiya
Yathā yathā kho, māgaṇḍiya, asu kuṭṭhī puriso arugatto pakkagatto kimīhi khajjamāno nakhehi vaṇamukhāni vippatacchamāno aṅgārakāsuyā kāyaṁ paritāpeti tathā tathāssa tāni vaṇamukhāni asucitarāni ceva honti duggandhatarāni ca pūtikatarāni ca, hoti ceva kāci sātamattā assādamattā—yadidaṁ vaṇamukhānaṁ kaṇḍūvanahetu;
When a man lives heedlessly, craving grows in them like a camel’s foot creeper. They jump from one thing to the next, like a langur greedy for fruit in a forest grove. Whoever is beaten by this wretched craving, this attachment to the world, their sorrow grows, like grass in the rain. But whoever prevails over this wretched craving, so hard to get over in the world, their sorrows fall from them, like a drop from a lotus-leaf.
Wanting that will not settle, in its most general form: a person who leaps about like a monkey after fruit, and the plain statement that sorrow falls away as craving is overcome.
Where this stops: About craving as a habit of mind, not about any particular wish; it is not a verdict on someone who wants a better job, a fair share or a child's welfare. Where a habit has become a dependency, it is for a doctor or a program first.
Dhp 334:1–336:4 · 24. Craving
Manujassa pamattacārino, Taṇhā vaḍḍhati māluvā viya; So plavatī hurā huraṁ, Phalamicchaṁva vanasmi vānaro. Yaṁ esā sahate jammī, taṇhā loke visattikā; Sokā tassa pavaḍḍhanti, abhivaṭṭhaṁva bīraṇaṁ. Yo cetaṁ sahate jammiṁ, taṇhaṁ loke duraccayaṁ; Sokā tamhā papatanti, udabinduva pokkharā.
That’s not right, it’s not good, and I feel remorseful because of it. But I can’t undo what I have done.’ Reflecting like this, they give up lying, and in future they refrain from lying.
Remorse with its proper size — felt, named, and then turned into giving up the deed.
Where this stops: The sutta goes on to say that with a heart of boundless love no limited deed remains in force; that is about the mind's release, not about consequences to others disappearing.
SN 42.8:10.3–10.4 · A Horn Blower
Yaṁ kho pana mayā musā bhaṇitaṁ yāvatakaṁ vā tāvatakaṁ vā taṁ na suṭṭhu, taṁ na sādhu. Ahañceva kho pana tappaccayā vippaṭisārī assaṁ, na metaṁ pāpaṁ kammaṁ akataṁ bhavissatī’ti. So iti paṭisaṅkhāya tañceva musāvādaṁ pajahati, āyatiñca musāvādā paṭivirato hoti.